I did okay last night

My knee is still sore... Well not sore. That isn't quite the feeling. It is painful. Yes, I think that is more accurate. But I don't think it woke me up through the night.

This morning I'm taking care of a few chores and then a day of Little Shop rehearsals.

It is interesting that I have to breathe away the surge of adrenaline every time I must learn something new. It only happens when I must learn something new. For awhile I was separating physical from intellectual stuff, but that was some kind of silly scam I was pulling on myself.
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Just got a call

My sweetie, Michelle, and her sweetie, Jim, became parents last night.

I was looking forward to being there for the delivery, but babies have a tendency to make plans without consulting anyone.

All are healthy and well (if not patient!) and I'll be visiting them on my way to rehearsal.

I am so thrilled for Michelle. She has wanted a baby for a very long time.

I am present to love. And I love it. :)

A sadness day

I woke up this morning to the miracle of birth. I spent a couple of hours with the new mom and dad. And the sweetest newborn named Victoria Julie Cass-Boydston. (I'm actually not sure if she has the whole last name.)

In that time, I was completely present to love. And everything that is possible when love is the background conversation in human interactions.

As the day progressed, I became more and more sad. Nothing to do with the people I was with for part of the afternoon. Just sad.

Why? Drama.

Sometimes I am such the boy. :) I want to fix everything for people. I want to kiss the boo-boo and make it all better. I know I can't, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to.

Sigh.

Water is wet, rocks are hard. Wishing doesn't change it. Really.

Love.

Here is some more

My last post (A sadness day) was made while sitting in lizetta's living room. I was spending some time trying to upgrade my laptop from my desktop via the net. It became too complicated. But in the midst of watching my machine count slowly to 100% half a dozen times, I got to think.

The last post is what I thought. :)

Now more time has passed and I'm finding myself sliding into a dip. I'm really curious about what's driving it. The path is certainly familiar and I promise I won't let it continue much longer (an hour or two maybe, probably less).

But the cause is not familiar. Well, maybe it is. Maybe it is.

I want my life to work. Not just work, though. I mean really work. Hitting on all cylinders all the time. And it just keeps falling a little short. I know, i think, that it's because I'm attached. There is a way I want it to be and it just isn't going that way.

And right now I can feel my idealism sliding into cynicism. I can feel my love for humanity turning into indifference and resignation.

I sitting at the point where I'm convinced that people are going to continue to be shit heads with each other. AND I AM FUCKING SICK OF IT.

There. That feels better. :)

That was my most dominant attitude for years and years. It doesn't serve me and only shows up once in awhile now. (and it's going away as I type.)

Let me tell you something straight. Okay? Listen if you want. At the moment, I really don't care if you listen or not. Nothing vested. Got it? No skin off my neck if you attend or not. This is about what might be available for you, not me.

Thursday, August 5. 7:00-9:30pm. Landmark Education center at 4877 Viewridge in San Diego. (I-15 to Balboa. First right onto Viewridge. Down the hill and half way up the other side.)

Put an end to suffering. Life is too short to spend much time wondering if you are doing the right thing while doing practically nothing. Life is too short to think you don't deserve what you want. Life is too short to spend suffering over what is so while ignoring what might be. Water is wet, rocks are hard, but suffering is optional.

If you spend a lot of time shouting at the wind or shoveling shit against the tide, this education if for you. If you spend a lot of time working really hard but not gaining much ground, this education is for you. If you spend a lot of time thinking "It shouldn't be this way," then this education is for you.

Bring your life to this event and see if there is something for you in the training that Landmark provides. Bring a checkbook or credit card. You can even bring money. The tuition is $395. $100 deposit that night.

See if there is something that fits you when the participants in the Self Expression and Leadership Program tell you about the miracles in their lives. Those things that were never going to happen that suddenly are happening.

If you are coming, please reply to this post. If you are thinking about it, have a look at your life and see how much time you are on the fence and out of the game.

Some see for yourself.

Even if you don't sign up, you will get value for your life. Really. Just from the one evening.