Creating a banquet

Here's a metaphor for life. It's a potluck. If we want our banquet to have variety, we better invite a lot of people.

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Yesterday I asked my daughter for some financial help. That really pushed all my failure alarm buttons. I let that meaning go. She was pleased that she could help me out. My asking turned out to be a gift to her -- she got to contribute to me. The old "truths" die hard, but when they fall, the resulting thud is very satisfying. :)

I know that when I want to contribute to someone, I am expressing love for them in some way. I hate to have that rejected. I stopped giving in order to get when I was a toddler. It was a short lived way of being. And it hurts a little to be thought of in that way even when it's not personal (which it seldom is). But most people reject contribution. Doesn't really matter what their reasoning is for rejecting it, the contributor has his or her own story of a personal failing. Even though I have a lot of evidence that suggests a rejected offering is always about the intended receiver, I still have a moment of listening to that asshole voice in my head telling me that there is something wrong with me. Giving is a joy for me. It must, therefore, be a joy for others, too. Who am I to deny them their joy!

Here. Have some love. Take as much as you want. It's free. Display it proudly and be sure to give some away.

{In my best compassionate daddy voice} Go forth and contribute!

(no subject)

If my life were any better, California would tax it, the Bush Administration would attempt to ban it and the congressional caucus of Religious Political Extremists would introduce a constitutional amendment.

Q-TIP

This morning, I was having a little chat with myself about my future involvement with Landmark Education. I noticed that I was ticking off the reasons I was not suitable to lead any of their programs.

When I reached one particular reason, the Q-TIP alarm when off. Whoa, there, Big Boy. Let's go through that list again, shall we.

The Landmark Center in San Diego has a rather large missing, in my opinion. I've been focused on that and on the senior members of assisting teams who have been looking for ways to provide something that will make a difference. I've been looking, too.

I've been doing a little compare and contrast game, though. I've watched a few senior leaders have strong emotional reactions to the fallout around this area of unworkability. I had fallen into the trap of concluding that I might not be committed enough because I'm not having those reactions.

On further examination, though. I think the reactions I've been seeing are less about standing in the face of no results while be committed to results than it has been standing in the face of personal failure for no results while attached to a particular outcome.

Oops. Quit Taking it Personally. There is a big difference between taking on the game of being responsible for everything going on around you and taking anything as a personal failure.

In fact, that is a big part of Landmark training. And of HAI training. I think if it weren't for my HAI training, I might have fallen right into the same pothole a few of the senior leaders have fallen into.

Then the question to ask myself is this: What's missing in the realm of possibility, the presence of which will make a difference for these leaders. Presencing the attachment v. commitment distinction probably isn't going to do it. I think it has something to do with operating in a partnership model.

Accountability is a great game, but without community, it has little or no value. Living as if accountability, possibility or even integrity is personal is a trap. Easily fallen into, though.

A major contribution I can be in this game is presencing Q-TIP. Being a clearing for partnership to arise. Yep. That's a good game.

It fits beautifully with my commitment to creating peace, love and joy with every conversation. Oh, yeah.

Oh, by the way, I love you. I do. That you can take personally, if you wish. :)

(no subject)

It's rather fun to play with in line styles when making LJ posts. Because of the nature of the cascade of styles, the in line styles take precedence over the style sheets one set up for a friends page and so forth.

My style, then, win. And if one is using a browser that allows one to turn off style sheets, the in line style remains.

All that was fun to play with. And if I were more interested in the look of my words rather than the direct content, I might continue to experiment with in line styles until I found something I liked. But I'm not much of a visual artist.

So much to several people's pleasure, I will seldom use them in the future. I don't want to screw with anyone else's sense of style about their friends page. :)

I love you anyway.

More ramblings about lust

( Just in case this is a TMI issue for you )

Yep. The question of the hour is: Now what? I don't know.