Playing with words

[outlier_lynn]

pdi and I were talking last night about melancholy. We each like the word better than the word depression to describe a dejected state of mind. Even though the dictionary uses the word depression to define melancholy, for me there is difference.

When I am in a state that I call melancholy, I still have hope and love. I'm wallowing in some bit of misery about the state of the world and my inability to wave a magic wand and make it all better. Under it all, though, I still maintain hope and love. My melancholy is always an expression of my idealism. there is a loneliness that comes with the feeling that begins with the idea that I have let everyone down in some huge and unforgivable way.

Depression on the other hand, again, for me, happens when my idealism turns to cynicism. At those times, I have no hope nor do I feel loving toward humanity. There is no loneliness in my depression. I don't want other people around me or to acknowledge my existence. I feel like the world has let me down. There is no hope, no love and no reason to live.

I haven't been depressed in quite awhile. (whew!) Sometimes I like to wallow in melancholy, I never like depression.

Love,
Love and Light

Comments

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

It's important to touch that sorrow inside, to feel it without being overwhelmed by it. It's like a sea in my heart and all my losses and regrets are submerged in it, visible under the surface. It's good for me to go down in there so that I remember what I cherish, to touch and revisit lost dreams and moments. It's also inspiring for me because I feel very empowered these days and I know that I have the choice of reclaiming things or leaving them to rest because that's no longer where my path lies. I know that nothing is ever truly lost to me, that I'll find it again in some form, so there's hope down there as well. That's different from depression, which in me is borne of helplessness and fear.

[scixual.livejournal.com]

I find melancholy feed my art -- depression saps it.