Secrets and Lynn

[outlier_lynn]

I've mentioned this before, but I think a couple of recent events seem to call for my saying this again.

If you tell me something and you want me to keep it as a secret, TELL ME SO. I have no filter for deciding what secrets other people might want to keep and I have no desire to create such filters.

Some secrets are useful like root passwords on servers, pins and so forth. But secrets about our emotional selves keep us from being fully connected and fully present with people. I have no energy to spare for maintaining a "who knows what" database.

I know several people who will find some reason to disagree with my assessment. Fine. Believe what you will about the value of secrets. But do not expect me to "just know" that something isn't for public knowledge. You will likely be disappointed.

Comments

[graveyardgreg.livejournal.com]

I got a secret to tell you!

You're da BOMB!

*realizes he posted it on a public livejournal*

Well, shucks. Now everyone knows.

[veggiebelle.livejournal.com]

Okay then, since you asked...

Anything I may say in any circumstances, even in a crowd, even if it is thought to be general public knowledge, should be considered private. I am a very private person. I have to admit that even that show program "bio" was too much information given to too many. I was very uncomfortable with that amount of information being published and handed out without my prior consent. So, whether I write it on LJ, say it, or it comes through another source, it is private.

[crazed-lynn.livejournal.com]

understood.

[scixual.livejournal.com]

You might consider never talking to me again then, as I feel as Lynn does.

If every word is private, I don't want to hold that much inside. Sorry.

If you want, we can discuss another way of looking at it, but the rule you just stated, if adhered to, makes me very much not want to hear another word form you, lest I have to keep a massive database of things I know but cannot say -- or I must learnt o selectively forget.

Secrecy doesn't protect you.

Re:

[veggiebelle.livejournal.com]

I fully understand. Consider me removed, and I appreciate your honesty.

Re:

[scixual.livejournal.com]

No compromise, huh?

[veggiebelle.livejournal.com]

I will not impose, and I wouldn't know how to compromise. Y'all simply have a different world-view than I do, and I'll respect that.

Re:

[scixual.livejournal.com]

It can be discussed, if you try to not spill any secrets during negotiations.

I do not WANT to cease hearing from you. I like you.

Re:

[scixual.livejournal.com]

And for the record, I am neither a snitch, gossiper nor a blabbermouth. In fact, I have no idea what the recent secret is.

My software no longer supports secrets very well, and more than one or two at a time will start clogging the system.

I request we readdress this issue at some future time, when you're feeling better.

[lizetta.livejournal.com]

I think she's feeling fine enough to decide on this. You have stated your opinion very clearly. I'm not sure what you would wish to discuss/negotiate on this. It's a simple thing. Some people believe it's important to be an open book, to let everyone see everything. Others want to keep their private life, well, private. Some people like to have some control over who knows what about them. And that's their choice. I'm not sure if you were just pointing out that Amy's statement was a bit blanket, and not exactly what she might have meant. Sure, if Amy tells you a joke, you can tell it to other people, but if you know about a date she had or a person she had a disagreement with, or even her favorite ride at Disneyland, she doesn't want that to be public. At least that's my opinion on her. There are many wonderful things about Amy that just need to not be broadcast. And she has a right to feel that way. And a right to protect herself from others who don't. Sorry if we're not enlightened enough, but I agree with her decisions here. She gets to be who she wants to be, and if that is too much of a burden for you, than she should feel free to not burden you.