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It is all well and good to have a solid education in philosophy. It is all well and good to have training in psychology and human motivation. It is all well and good to understand the basic ways in which people grow up.
It is all wasted time and energy if one does not use that knowledge day to day. Especially if one is a parent. Guilt is a horrible motivator. The actions taken because of guilt generally fall in the same category as teaching pigs to sing. Assuming our children are not capable of managing their own affairs does a disservice to them. It sets them up to be helpless adults.
We do want our children to be happy (what ever we think that is) and we want them to be successful. But our wants are not the deciding factor in the lives of our children. It is their wants. The best we can do is teach them how to get what they want. That's it.
We are charged with keeping them alive long enough to keep themselves alive. All else is theirs to create or not. They can be miserable or happy as they decide. They can succeed of fail as they choose. It's just not a parent's job to make their children happy. Period.
And life goes on as we merrily ignore the long history of truths about raising children and we create drama in our lives.
Love.
It is all wasted time and energy if one does not use that knowledge day to day. Especially if one is a parent. Guilt is a horrible motivator. The actions taken because of guilt generally fall in the same category as teaching pigs to sing. Assuming our children are not capable of managing their own affairs does a disservice to them. It sets them up to be helpless adults.
We do want our children to be happy (what ever we think that is) and we want them to be successful. But our wants are not the deciding factor in the lives of our children. It is their wants. The best we can do is teach them how to get what they want. That's it.
We are charged with keeping them alive long enough to keep themselves alive. All else is theirs to create or not. They can be miserable or happy as they decide. They can succeed of fail as they choose. It's just not a parent's job to make their children happy. Period.
And life goes on as we merrily ignore the long history of truths about raising children and we create drama in our lives.
Love.