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Last night I kept getting caught up in flights of fantasy that kept me from sleeping. I pulled myself away from them time and again or I wouldn't have slept at all. Here's a synopsis of a few of them.
Malicious users of the Internet and spammers started committing suicide one after another leaving the same note each time. It made world wide news. It didn't take long for the assholes of the world to figure out that unleashing virus, worms, trojans and plain old spam was a capital offense. And who was causing all this to happen? Could it have been me with my handle "end user" key? I think so.
After a workshop about loving touch, I was part of a pile of people. There were maybe 30 or 40 folks spread out on a pillow covered floor. Everyone using someone as a pillow. The room was warm, the people tired, still and serene. Then the Morality Police raided the place. Turned out to be a nation-wide raid of public and private spaces in which people were wearing less than the acceptable amount of covering. Tens of thousands of people were rounded up and put in re-education camps run by a coalition of Christian and Muslim fundamentalists who had the contract from the Department of Justice and Morals.
In a similar track, the City of Encinitas raided RHPS. Cast and regulars used our hidden store of weapons and had a Waco-style standoff with federal law enforcement officials from the same Department of Justice and Morals.
There were friendships blow up scenes. Lots of different stories; usually one theme. Something fundamental to loving relationships that each friend found lacking in me.
A few in which I had special powers. Flight, mind reading, superhuman strength. All sorts of superhero fantasies.
One in which I was god the creator. Acting out "vengeance is mine" with a vengeance. I was busy correcting a mistake in evolution. The one that allowed "stupid" to be selected for rather than against. I was creating new viruses that would eliminate stupidity in ways that would not alarm all of humanity.
And once in awhile, there would be the perfect ones. The best from last night was a large group house. 16 people. Some from my real life. A big loving family of the sort that I no longer think is even possible. But in my fantasy, it was heaven. Filled with affection and possibility. Nothing hidden. No shame. No unfulfilled desires. It was really my picture of heaven from when I was very young. It was perfect.
See why I'm having trouble sleeping!
Love.
Malicious users of the Internet and spammers started committing suicide one after another leaving the same note each time. It made world wide news. It didn't take long for the assholes of the world to figure out that unleashing virus, worms, trojans and plain old spam was a capital offense. And who was causing all this to happen? Could it have been me with my handle "end user" key? I think so.
After a workshop about loving touch, I was part of a pile of people. There were maybe 30 or 40 folks spread out on a pillow covered floor. Everyone using someone as a pillow. The room was warm, the people tired, still and serene. Then the Morality Police raided the place. Turned out to be a nation-wide raid of public and private spaces in which people were wearing less than the acceptable amount of covering. Tens of thousands of people were rounded up and put in re-education camps run by a coalition of Christian and Muslim fundamentalists who had the contract from the Department of Justice and Morals.
In a similar track, the City of Encinitas raided RHPS. Cast and regulars used our hidden store of weapons and had a Waco-style standoff with federal law enforcement officials from the same Department of Justice and Morals.
There were friendships blow up scenes. Lots of different stories; usually one theme. Something fundamental to loving relationships that each friend found lacking in me.
A few in which I had special powers. Flight, mind reading, superhuman strength. All sorts of superhero fantasies.
One in which I was god the creator. Acting out "vengeance is mine" with a vengeance. I was busy correcting a mistake in evolution. The one that allowed "stupid" to be selected for rather than against. I was creating new viruses that would eliminate stupidity in ways that would not alarm all of humanity.
And once in awhile, there would be the perfect ones. The best from last night was a large group house. 16 people. Some from my real life. A big loving family of the sort that I no longer think is even possible. But in my fantasy, it was heaven. Filled with affection and possibility. Nothing hidden. No shame. No unfulfilled desires. It was really my picture of heaven from when I was very young. It was perfect.
See why I'm having trouble sleeping!
Love.
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