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Here's what dictionary.com has for "trust"
If someone presents me with a pattern of behavior but promises different behavior. I will trust that person. But I probably won't trust what they say, I will trust what they do.
Trust has the unmistakable sense of "in the future." If I can accurately predict what another will do, I can trust them. They will be predictable. That all falls under definitions 1, 2 and 3.
I trust nearly everyone I know reasonably well. If I know their patterns, I will trust that they will be true to the pattern. Period. If there have a fundamental shift in world view, a new pattern may emerge over time, but it will still be a pattern that provides me with the evidence that engenders trust.
It requires specific patterns of behavior before I add definitions 4 and 5 to any relationship.
But, what I really want to talk about is a special circumstance of definition 3. I can choose to believe even in the face of contrary evidence. No, I don't think my belief is necessarily the truth, but I will act as if it is until the pain of believing is more intense than the loss of the relationship.
There are two people in my life right now who have the special circumstance. I choose to believe what I am being told is the truth. And in both cases I know that what I am hearing is sometimes not the truth. Sometimes I am being mislead and encouraged to leap to a false conclusion. Sometimes I am flat out being lied to.
In both cases, I've gotten pretty good (I think) at spotting the lies. I'm far less good at spotting the fancy footwork of misdirection. But in both cases, I have their patterns (more or less). And, in that, there is the evidence for me to trust. In those patterns, I feel I can predict the future well enough. And in both cases, I will accept the words at face value. Not because I always think it's true, but because to not believe causes way too much damage to the relationship.
What makes these two cases "better" than some of my other relationships is that these two people have both told me that they will lie to me. They know they are doing it and they know I know. It's a mechanism to give information indirectly. Even if the information is "It's none of your business." :)
I don't like that kind of communications, but in its own way, it is quit honest even if it is uncomfortably vague for me.
Other people in my life also have patterns. A few keep insisting that I have faith in their words even when their best intentions produce no result. Even when their actions don't line up. For them, the insistence that I believe what they say rather than what they do is wrecking my relationship with them.
Give me my two liars. There is much that is clear and trustworthy in those relationships. :)
1. To have or place confidence in; depend on.
2. To expect with assurance; assume
3. To believe
4. To place in the care of another; entrust.
5. To grant discretion to confidently
2. To expect with assurance; assume
3. To believe
4. To place in the care of another; entrust.
5. To grant discretion to confidently
If someone presents me with a pattern of behavior but promises different behavior. I will trust that person. But I probably won't trust what they say, I will trust what they do.
Trust has the unmistakable sense of "in the future." If I can accurately predict what another will do, I can trust them. They will be predictable. That all falls under definitions 1, 2 and 3.
I trust nearly everyone I know reasonably well. If I know their patterns, I will trust that they will be true to the pattern. Period. If there have a fundamental shift in world view, a new pattern may emerge over time, but it will still be a pattern that provides me with the evidence that engenders trust.
It requires specific patterns of behavior before I add definitions 4 and 5 to any relationship.
But, what I really want to talk about is a special circumstance of definition 3. I can choose to believe even in the face of contrary evidence. No, I don't think my belief is necessarily the truth, but I will act as if it is until the pain of believing is more intense than the loss of the relationship.
There are two people in my life right now who have the special circumstance. I choose to believe what I am being told is the truth. And in both cases I know that what I am hearing is sometimes not the truth. Sometimes I am being mislead and encouraged to leap to a false conclusion. Sometimes I am flat out being lied to.
In both cases, I've gotten pretty good (I think) at spotting the lies. I'm far less good at spotting the fancy footwork of misdirection. But in both cases, I have their patterns (more or less). And, in that, there is the evidence for me to trust. In those patterns, I feel I can predict the future well enough. And in both cases, I will accept the words at face value. Not because I always think it's true, but because to not believe causes way too much damage to the relationship.
What makes these two cases "better" than some of my other relationships is that these two people have both told me that they will lie to me. They know they are doing it and they know I know. It's a mechanism to give information indirectly. Even if the information is "It's none of your business." :)
I don't like that kind of communications, but in its own way, it is quit honest even if it is uncomfortably vague for me.
Other people in my life also have patterns. A few keep insisting that I have faith in their words even when their best intentions produce no result. Even when their actions don't line up. For them, the insistence that I believe what they say rather than what they do is wrecking my relationship with them.
Give me my two liars. There is much that is clear and trustworthy in those relationships. :)