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I have an unfortunate habit. I'm not alone for it seems a very common habit. It is one that does not serve me at all.
I have "pre-conversations" entirely in my head and use the results of those conversations to decide whether or not to actually talk to the other person. The more important the topic, the more likely I am to have pre-conversations. For the most important topics, I'll have several different pre-conversations and if they all don't go well, I keep my mouth shut.
But it doesn't work. I'm left with something unfinished with another person.
They and others around me might not know what the "something" is, but they will damn well know there is a "something." Because they, more than likely, have this same unfortunate habit, they will likely create a "something" for me in their pre-conversations. Often those conversations won't go well either.
So, I create some elephant in the living room. Not only aren't we talking about it, but it is keeping us apart. It may not be what the King meant when he wrote the phrase, but this is a recipe for "a walk down lonely street."
I've sent off an email. Best I could do at the moment. It was scary to write. It was more troublesome to not write. At least I managed to put a stop to the pre-conversations long enough to get something into the real world.
Now I wait.
I have "pre-conversations" entirely in my head and use the results of those conversations to decide whether or not to actually talk to the other person. The more important the topic, the more likely I am to have pre-conversations. For the most important topics, I'll have several different pre-conversations and if they all don't go well, I keep my mouth shut.
But it doesn't work. I'm left with something unfinished with another person.
They and others around me might not know what the "something" is, but they will damn well know there is a "something." Because they, more than likely, have this same unfortunate habit, they will likely create a "something" for me in their pre-conversations. Often those conversations won't go well either.
So, I create some elephant in the living room. Not only aren't we talking about it, but it is keeping us apart. It may not be what the King meant when he wrote the phrase, but this is a recipe for "a walk down lonely street."
I've sent off an email. Best I could do at the moment. It was scary to write. It was more troublesome to not write. At least I managed to put a stop to the pre-conversations long enough to get something into the real world.
Now I wait.