When I was a little boy

[outlier_lynn]

I lived in anticipation of eating lobster. My family did not eat lobster often and when they did, it was always at restaurants. I was too young, according to my parents. They always talked about lobster such that I was sure it was the best experience a human could possibly have.

I even had dreams about it.

When I was 14, I got to have lobster at my sister's wedding. It made me sick. (Partly it was due to my general upset at Jo's marriage to a scumbag, but it was also partly the lobster.

Over the years, I tried lobster now and them. I became ill every time. Not very sick, mind you. Well, that is the pattern of any and all anticipation for me. And I mostly know it. And I mostly avoid being trapped by it. But just mostly.

I'm usually trapped by the indirect type, now. And it strikes right to the heart of me until I get enough words around the feeling to see it for what it is. Still, even when it has passed as foolishness, there is a touch of pain.

It hit three different times tonight. And now I'm left feeling really odd.

It will be fine by morning. I'm tired and sleepy so I'm not shaking it off very well.

I do have to find the plug on anticipation and pull it, though. It brings nothing but trouble when indulged in.

Love.

Comments

[porcinea.livejournal.com]

I wish I liked lobster.

Hope morning was glory.