Sigh.

[outlier_lynn]

I'm in one of my rare moods of wanting a primary sweetie. Thank god the mood is rare, though, because it isn't really a primary that I want. I mostly want some serious physical affection and someone to sleep with (as in really sleep) from time to time. I want someone to hold and snuggle. Someone who will sing Everything's All Right. Everything's Fine to me.

I feel loved my many people in my life including Haven Clan. More love than I ever thought possible. But it falls way short in that one area.

I talk about puppy piles once in awhile. Not a sex orgy. But a lounging mode that has lots of contact and caressing and nuzzling. Lots of naked bodies running around. People talking about their fears, hopes, dreams and the wonder of the world. Sharing affectionate and intimate touch that isn't intended to be erotic even when genitalia is involved.

I am completely touch and affection starved. And I've completely convinced myself that what I want is not possible in this or any other culture.

In my mind, it requires a set of people who aren't ashamed of their bodies; who aren't frightened about saying no or yes; who have some fucking clue about who they are in the world.


Fuck, I need to talk a walk and feel sorry for myself for a little while.