![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
When "bad" stuff happens in our lives, it seems to be the nature of humans to resist those things.
Even though I know -- intellectually and experientially -- that allowing is a much better course of action than resisting, I will still fall for it. I will still resist.
I'll still push the sadness away or the dread or the resignation. All those emotions and reactions to emotions last far longer when I am trying to prevent feeling them.
On the other hand, if I just feel sad or lonely or hopeless when that is what shows up, the duration is short and the severity is weak.
The good news, of course, is that I am practiced. Very practiced. I mostly allow what is there to feel. I just feel it and it disappears. Mostly.
It is proportional, though, to what I think is at stake. How big is the risk? It is as if feeling "lonely" creates lonely and, thus, lonely will continue forever. So I resist being lonely. That gives strength to the feeling which reinforces the fallacy which gives strength to the feeling.
Lonely isn't what is happening this time, though. This time it is the familiar conversation of "What's the use, I can never achieve or succeed." I have been resisting it.
Now I know that allowing it even or especially when it feels like a big risk has it disappear all the quicker. Why? Because the reason the feeling came up wasn't real. At least not in the water is wet, rocks are hard sense of real. I feel sad when I decide that some event is worthing of sadness. I feel lonely when I have some story of being forever alone and unloved.
When I allow myself to feel the emotion, the story attached to it is right there, visible to myself. I can then easily dismiss the story as a lie and the sad emotion goes away.
I've been taking on bigger games in my life. Bigger chances and bigger risks that lead to the life I really want.
This afternoon I saw the opportunity for allowing. To feel what was there to feel and to let it pass through me unrestricted.
The result?
Well, when the opportunity to spend some time watching Padres baseball,enjoying conversation and having an impromptu dinner with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lizetta, I was through my moments of sad and powerless and ready for having a really good time.
That's the value of allowing. Otherwise my life would be one missed opportunity after another.
On the spur of the moment, I signed up to assist in the June Landmark Forum. I had such a great benefit from the last one I assisted at, that I jumped off the diving board without really considering what it would do to the rest of my schedule. I'll need to followup with Sharon tomorrow, but I can't assist in that forum. I can rearrange a lot of my life on short notice, but not all of it!
To all those I claim as friends who wade through my posts, I'm amazed.... Oh, no. What I meant to say is this. You are extraordinary people. You move, touch, and inspire me in more ways than you can imagine. And because of that, you wouldn't believe the difference you are making in people's lives that you will never even meet. I love you all. You are all very important to me. Thank you for contributing to my life -- even if you don't know you are doing so. And thank you for allowing me to be part of yours.
Tonight is RHPS and I am once again playing Riff. Ah, my life is complete. :)
Even though I know -- intellectually and experientially -- that allowing is a much better course of action than resisting, I will still fall for it. I will still resist.
I'll still push the sadness away or the dread or the resignation. All those emotions and reactions to emotions last far longer when I am trying to prevent feeling them.
On the other hand, if I just feel sad or lonely or hopeless when that is what shows up, the duration is short and the severity is weak.
The good news, of course, is that I am practiced. Very practiced. I mostly allow what is there to feel. I just feel it and it disappears. Mostly.
It is proportional, though, to what I think is at stake. How big is the risk? It is as if feeling "lonely" creates lonely and, thus, lonely will continue forever. So I resist being lonely. That gives strength to the feeling which reinforces the fallacy which gives strength to the feeling.
Lonely isn't what is happening this time, though. This time it is the familiar conversation of "What's the use, I can never achieve or succeed." I have been resisting it.
Now I know that allowing it even or especially when it feels like a big risk has it disappear all the quicker. Why? Because the reason the feeling came up wasn't real. At least not in the water is wet, rocks are hard sense of real. I feel sad when I decide that some event is worthing of sadness. I feel lonely when I have some story of being forever alone and unloved.
When I allow myself to feel the emotion, the story attached to it is right there, visible to myself. I can then easily dismiss the story as a lie and the sad emotion goes away.
I've been taking on bigger games in my life. Bigger chances and bigger risks that lead to the life I really want.
This afternoon I saw the opportunity for allowing. To feel what was there to feel and to let it pass through me unrestricted.
The result?
Well, when the opportunity to spend some time watching Padres baseball,enjoying conversation and having an impromptu dinner with
lizetta, I was through my moments of sad and powerless and ready for having a really good time.That's the value of allowing. Otherwise my life would be one missed opportunity after another.
On the spur of the moment, I signed up to assist in the June Landmark Forum. I had such a great benefit from the last one I assisted at, that I jumped off the diving board without really considering what it would do to the rest of my schedule. I'll need to followup with Sharon tomorrow, but I can't assist in that forum. I can rearrange a lot of my life on short notice, but not all of it!
To all those I claim as friends who wade through my posts, I'm amazed.... Oh, no. What I meant to say is this. You are extraordinary people. You move, touch, and inspire me in more ways than you can imagine. And because of that, you wouldn't believe the difference you are making in people's lives that you will never even meet. I love you all. You are all very important to me. Thank you for contributing to my life -- even if you don't know you are doing so. And thank you for allowing me to be part of yours.
Tonight is RHPS and I am once again playing Riff. Ah, my life is complete. :)
Have a fun Riff!