Finally off the fence

No, I'm still a bisexual. That's not the fence I meant. Sheesh.

No. I'm off the employment fence. I added my resume to the UCSD job pool and applied for four jobs on their bulletin. I would love to work for UCSD. No, really. I'm used to government jobs. :)

Turns out to be a problem I don't know how to solve, though. I really want TWO resumes at UCSD. I applied for four computer related jobs but there was a fifth job I think I'm fully qualified for but not by the resume I submitted. The fifth job was not as a computer person.

And that job would have been at the UCSD Medical Center 2 miles from here in a program called Connect to Protect. HIV and Teens. I might have really liked that job. Oh well.

My intention is to have a full-time, computer-related, $3K-a-month-or-more job within 60 days.

Yep. That is my intention.

cuddledee and cuddledom

I've used this word for a long time and mostly seem to be misunderstood. Did I think to look the word up in the dictionary to see if I were the one misusing it? No.

Well, I've finally looked it up. I'm not misusing it, but I can see how it would lead to confusion. But I don't see a good alternative, either.

Here are the various words, along with selected definitions, that form a self-referential loop for cuddle. The definitions were picked as to provide a sense of my sense of "cuddle" and what I'm after in my life.

Cuddle: hug tenderly; to nestle, snuggle.
Nestle: To settle snugly and comfortably; to draw or press close, as in affection; snuggle
Snuggle: To curl up closely or comfortably; to draw close or hold closely, as for comfort or in affection
Affection: A tender feeling toward another; fondness; (See Synonyms at love)
Love: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness; a strong positive emotion of regard and affection

The missing component, though, is eye contact. (No. Not like a contact sport. I am not interested in rubbing eyeballs together.)

The question is, though, did this exercise make my use of "cuddle" any clearer for me or for anyone else.

Another interesting point is that sex showed up as the second or fourth or "related" entries if there at all. Yet, "cuddle" does seem filled with sexual overtones. I might stop using cuddle and start using nestle. Somehow, though, it does not sound a sweet or affectionate. Snuggle seems a much closer fit, really.

It's a primate "troop" thing with me, I think. It's the "grooming" behavior for me and the "presenting" behavior for a lot of other people. :)

More about jobs

I'm committed to a tech (probably) job. I've noticed that working as an art model again has brought something back to my life that had been missing -- acquaintances.

There are people I know pretty well because I see them a lot --- like my Rocky Cast. I might not know much about their lives outside of Rocky, but they are above the level of Acquaintance.

I miss that level of interaction in between complete stranger I don't interact with on any personal level and someone who qualifies as buddy or friend. I have that a bit with modeling. Hard to not have a personal interaction with folks when you are the only naked one in the room. :)

Work colleagues are one kind of acquaintanceship. And I miss it. I hadn't really noticed how much. The daily interaction with a group of people more or less moving in the same direction. And mostly people I don't think about outside the office. People I have obligations to except for mutual work projects.

Why do I miss it? Because that gave me balance. Good balance for my closer relationships and my love relationships. One of the changes I've made in my relationship with Crazed Imaginations is that I've given up the idea that I should be friends with everyone in cast. Not a chance that can happen in the real world of groups that large. I think it's all the "family" talk. Not that I've been friends with everyone in my family. :) Everyone in cast does fit, at least, into the buddy category.

I need more people who fit in the not quite a stranger category. And it will be nice to get paid money to have them. :)