(no subject)

[outlier_lynn]

Lots of time to think during the second job. Lots of "owie" to go along with it. No thinking about Amy on that job, though. Well, once I thought "I'm not thinking about Amy."

I did run through Riff-Raff several times.

Taking on a new role is bringing up my general "performance anxiety" with several triggers. Doing anything in unison -- like Shanananas. Getting the major blocking moves right. and some other stuff.

There are clips played at Show Tunes from some movie about teens in which one teen guy is trying to teach another guy to dance. It's pitiful. Same thing in Hr. Holland's Opus in which Dryfus is trying to teach this poor jock to bang a drum in time with music. Well, I'm those two inepts. At least I feel like I am.

They typical stuff floated through my mind tonight as I was playing Riff in my head. Then a new sentence showed up. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

"If only I could .... like the NORMAL kids."

Oh my.

"Chubby, half blind misfit" washed over me like a monsoon.

No wonder there were a few things I've been slow to take on!

Enough of that. I have counter evidence. I think I'll choose that.



I love you. I love me, too.

Comments

personally...

[rhps-mom.livejournal.com]

I think you will be a great Riff!! I told you that from the first I heard of you thinking about training for it. Those kids you went to school with, the ones who tried to make you worthless, should see you now!! Successful at so many things, so expressive, so full of love... What they tried: failed!

Re: personally...

[bluemoonpnw.livejournal.com]

Yes. Plus, there's all that love.

8^J

Moon