![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I woke up really, really cranky this morning. I let the "tape" in my head play to see what I was dwelling on. "Ah ha," says I. It was the tape about incompetent people. That one always makes me cranky. In recent years, I figured out why.
For most of my life, I consistently failed to meet my standards for competence. Of course, that is always a losing game but until you figure thought out, we are doomed to thinking we come up short of our standards in some area or another.
Failing makes me a bit cranky, but when I encounter people far less competent than I am I really get cranky. It goes something like this: If I'm a loser fearing for my livelihood, how can these people who are a waste of space go blithely through their lives without a care in their empty little heads.
And then, I'm really, really cranky.
I can now get through that whole train of thought in about 3 seconds (practice), and then cranky goes away.
Now matter what has me angry or cranky, it always comes down to something about me that "isn't right." Once I notice that the conversation has that flavor, the upset goes away and is often replaced by a giggle.
This morning's return to sanity was more of a guffaw.
For most of my life, I consistently failed to meet my standards for competence. Of course, that is always a losing game but until you figure thought out, we are doomed to thinking we come up short of our standards in some area or another.
Failing makes me a bit cranky, but when I encounter people far less competent than I am I really get cranky. It goes something like this: If I'm a loser fearing for my livelihood, how can these people who are a waste of space go blithely through their lives without a care in their empty little heads.
And then, I'm really, really cranky.
I can now get through that whole train of thought in about 3 seconds (practice), and then cranky goes away.
Now matter what has me angry or cranky, it always comes down to something about me that "isn't right." Once I notice that the conversation has that flavor, the upset goes away and is often replaced by a giggle.
This morning's return to sanity was more of a guffaw.