My journal does look like a lot of wheel spinning. That's mostly because I have a recurring "issue." And when it flairs up, I write journal entries. They aren't intended to be vague, but I have noticed they are getting more and more obtuse.
I wanted it all to be public for two reasons. I don't want to have secrets. So I figured I'd let anyone who wanted into my head when I was working through stuff. The other reason was to demonstrate that it is possible to be public about one's fear and worries.
What I have noticed, though, is that I can't be specific enough to prevent misunderstandings, hurt feelings and other forms of drama. People tend to read into it those things that would have it be worse for them. :)
It has failed to create closeness for me or for them. Now, I guess, it's habit.
The relationships I want come off sounding vague because they are. :) I've gone into two marriages and joined several groups based on "first impressions" and later discovered that was a very bad idea. :)
I really want to be in someone else's head and I want them in mine. And I want that in groups. I think some people call that the "soul-mate" relationship. It's a romantic pipe dream. And as I wrote that, I realized it's part of the "Half a person until True Love hits" crap I've been arguing against for years.
I guess I have been thinking "If I can't have it, then I'll spoil it for everyone." Rationally, I don't believe in the "halves into one" concept of love, but when I'm feeling incomplete or broken, it's an appealing "easy" fix.
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Re: Familiar Ground
My journal does look like a lot of wheel spinning. That's mostly because I have a recurring "issue." And when it flairs up, I write journal entries. They aren't intended to be vague, but I have noticed they are getting more and more obtuse.
I wanted it all to be public for two reasons. I don't want to have secrets. So I figured I'd let anyone who wanted into my head when I was working through stuff. The other reason was to demonstrate that it is possible to be public about one's fear and worries.
What I have noticed, though, is that I can't be specific enough to prevent misunderstandings, hurt feelings and other forms of drama. People tend to read into it those things that would have it be worse for them. :)
It has failed to create closeness for me or for them. Now, I guess, it's habit.
The relationships I want come off sounding vague because they are. :) I've gone into two marriages and joined several groups based on "first impressions" and later discovered that was a very bad idea. :)
I really want to be in someone else's head and I want them in mine. And I want that in groups. I think some people call that the "soul-mate" relationship. It's a romantic pipe dream. And as I wrote that, I realized it's part of the "Half a person until True Love hits" crap I've been arguing against for years.
I guess I have been thinking "If I can't have it, then I'll spoil it for everyone." Rationally, I don't believe in the "halves into one" concept of love, but when I'm feeling incomplete or broken, it's an appealing "easy" fix.