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Yep. That's exactly what I want right now. That's the bit that missing for me.
Someone recently said something about having itches to scratch. I've always liked that phrase. And it fits for me right now. It's a different itch, to be sure, but an itch nonetheless.
Looking inward and outward, though, and I find not one acceptable way to scratch this itch. I know it's just a point of view. I'm just looking at the world as if there is something true between me and heaven.
Often, though, knowing gives no action, but does make the itch more insistent and more irritating. I want to cuddle with one or more people. The biggest problem with that isn't that no one will cuddle with me, but that of all the people I know, there isn't a single one I want to cuddle with.
Oh, I still want to be touched and to touch -- it keeps the universe real for me -- but there isn't anyone I know with whom I want to spoon or snuggle up against to watch goofy or sappy movies.
The oddest thing is that the times when the itch is least noticeable is when I'm petting![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lizetta's dog. I'm sure there is some interesting bit of psychology in that. :)
I am so resisting going to RHPS tonight. And I know it's just my old pattern of distancing myself when I'm feeling this way. And the clock is dragging along.
Oh well. It could also be a function of the heat and humidity. I'm sitting here drenched and uncomfortable. I haven't slept well in days and days. And I'm having optical migraines several times a day. Add to that, my left ear is plugged up again and I can't hear for shit.
Whine. Whine. Whine. :)
There. Better to have that all outside my head than inside. I feel better already.
Someone recently said something about having itches to scratch. I've always liked that phrase. And it fits for me right now. It's a different itch, to be sure, but an itch nonetheless.
Looking inward and outward, though, and I find not one acceptable way to scratch this itch. I know it's just a point of view. I'm just looking at the world as if there is something true between me and heaven.
Often, though, knowing gives no action, but does make the itch more insistent and more irritating. I want to cuddle with one or more people. The biggest problem with that isn't that no one will cuddle with me, but that of all the people I know, there isn't a single one I want to cuddle with.
Oh, I still want to be touched and to touch -- it keeps the universe real for me -- but there isn't anyone I know with whom I want to spoon or snuggle up against to watch goofy or sappy movies.
The oddest thing is that the times when the itch is least noticeable is when I'm petting
lizetta's dog. I'm sure there is some interesting bit of psychology in that. :)I am so resisting going to RHPS tonight. And I know it's just my old pattern of distancing myself when I'm feeling this way. And the clock is dragging along.
Oh well. It could also be a function of the heat and humidity. I'm sitting here drenched and uncomfortable. I haven't slept well in days and days. And I'm having optical migraines several times a day. Add to that, my left ear is plugged up again and I can't hear for shit.
Whine. Whine. Whine. :)
There. Better to have that all outside my head than inside. I feel better already.