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I have a great life. Wasn't always so.
It isn't perfect, of course. I have all the same doubts I've had for as long as I can remember. I have all the same stories floating around about my relative worth as a human being. I have all the crap I've always had.
But now I'm not digging my way out of down times with a teaspoon.
And I have great tools and masterful skills with them for creating my life. For rooting around in the muck and finding the things that work for me. I can see when it is time to let go of somethings and to build up others.
Uncertainty isn't the scary monster it once was. I'm not the fatalist I was when I was 20.
Yep. I have a great life.
I was thinking this morning of the people in my life and my relationship with them. I was clicking off where I stand with people for the one's where I am comfortably sure. I was a bit surprised at the length of the list. I'm more surprised that it isn't lopsidedly women.
I feel confident that I know where I stand with these people (in no particular order):
What does it mean? I don't pretend that I actually know what any of these people think about me or their relationship with me. I just feel comfortable with their reactions to me. And I feel reasonably sure what reactions I can expect. (It's disconcerting when I am way off with any of them, though.)
Nor is that list an indicator of the "intensity" of my relationship with anyone on the list or not on the list. This is a small subset of folks who somewhere in my relationship category at Friend or above. It's just a marker with whom I am most at ease or where I am not experiencing angst about where I stand.
It's a nice list. Long enough to be comfortable and not so long that my head is obviously in the clouds. :)
And the people on that list are an incredible lot. The only thing (besides me) that they all have in common is that they are very bright. They are diverse in opinion and politics. They are scientists, lawyers, singers, philosophers, educators, and entrepreneurs. They are from various places in the US, England, European continent and Australia.
Yep. I have a great life. It's one worth poking and prodding. It's worth introspection. And, without modesty, worth sharing. It's a fine, fine life.
It isn't perfect, of course. I have all the same doubts I've had for as long as I can remember. I have all the same stories floating around about my relative worth as a human being. I have all the crap I've always had.
But now I'm not digging my way out of down times with a teaspoon.
And I have great tools and masterful skills with them for creating my life. For rooting around in the muck and finding the things that work for me. I can see when it is time to let go of somethings and to build up others.
Uncertainty isn't the scary monster it once was. I'm not the fatalist I was when I was 20.
Yep. I have a great life.
I was thinking this morning of the people in my life and my relationship with them. I was clicking off where I stand with people for the one's where I am comfortably sure. I was a bit surprised at the length of the list. I'm more surprised that it isn't lopsidedly women.
I feel confident that I know where I stand with these people (in no particular order):
- Home and family
- Heather, Aeire, Scix
- RHPS
- Amy, Amy B, LBJ, Eric, Tom
- Landmark Education
- Tamara, Stacey, Brenda, Linda
- HAI
- Greg, Peter S-H, Felicia, Donna Marie, Bonnie B., Dell, Lynn, Michelle, Jim, Pat.
- Long Distance Friends
- Stef, Alix, Piglet
What does it mean? I don't pretend that I actually know what any of these people think about me or their relationship with me. I just feel comfortable with their reactions to me. And I feel reasonably sure what reactions I can expect. (It's disconcerting when I am way off with any of them, though.)
Nor is that list an indicator of the "intensity" of my relationship with anyone on the list or not on the list. This is a small subset of folks who somewhere in my relationship category at Friend or above. It's just a marker with whom I am most at ease or where I am not experiencing angst about where I stand.
It's a nice list. Long enough to be comfortable and not so long that my head is obviously in the clouds. :)
And the people on that list are an incredible lot. The only thing (besides me) that they all have in common is that they are very bright. They are diverse in opinion and politics. They are scientists, lawyers, singers, philosophers, educators, and entrepreneurs. They are from various places in the US, England, European continent and Australia.
Yep. I have a great life. It's one worth poking and prodding. It's worth introspection. And, without modesty, worth sharing. It's a fine, fine life.