Granfalloons

This is such a wonderful word -- Granfalloon. It is from Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut. A grouping of individuals with a superficial connection. They key to mental health, in my opinion, is recognizing granfalloons for what they are. Giving them little importance.

They are useful, though. Finding some superficial commonality can break the ice at many different kinds of gatherings. They can provide some ephemeral sense of belonging. They are good for banishing feelings of isolation. Granfalloons not recognized, however, may be a perfect pretext for group against group violence.

The granfalloon I most identify with is this one: I am a member of the group who resists being a member of a group. As Groucho Marx said, "I don't care to belong to any club that would have me as a member."

I strongly dislike being told that I am a member of someone's granfalloon. And I don't care what name you give it. Currently the name that is most bandied about by the folks near me is "community." In the sense that I have some geopolitical connection with people, I am a member of a granfalloon. I am not however suffering from the belief that any substantial connection exists between me and them.

My notion of social revolution isn't to replace one set of foolish beliefs in the way things ought to be with another set of foolish beliefs. I would rather than people give up their granfalloons and deal with the people with whom they have an actual connection.

In the Landmark Eduction course "Wisdom," there is the distinction "circles." Who are the people you interact with frequently? Your immediate family, the checker at the grocery, the receptionist at the office. Most of your "friends" are probably not in this first circle. It is a wonderfully rich distinction even though some of those people are only members of a granfalloon. It is a wisdom to know which is which.