Astrology

I don't have any faith in Astrology, but I love to read the Cancer descriptions.

My mother paid a lot of attention to astrology when I was little so I get bits and pieces that didn't make much sense. Later, though, as a late teen, I read some book or another that described all the core characteristics of each sign.

Most of the time, Cancerians are described as nurtures and homebodies. And that fits me. I would rather have a place that is home and have it filled with love than anything else. But Cancerians are also described as moody in ways that I seem to be moody. Mostly related to family, home and love. (although all the material I've read keep linking romantic relationships into it. That part doesn't quite fit.

And sources talk about the hard side of Cancerians. The protective side. The side that doesn't want to get his feelings hurt again. This described me years ago. And sometimes it describes me now. A hard jab from someone I love causes a momentary short circuit of my self respect hardware. Doesn't last long anymore.

But the sources talk about Cancerians being shrewd and driven. Me? Not a chance. :) I'm more Mister Oblivious. I've had times when I was driven to some idea. But shrewd? Ha.

I was looking earlier at a chart that matched people by sign for romantic partners. By that chart, both my marriages were doomed. :)

possibility, commitment and reality

This is a "true life" example.

If I say I am committed to losing weight until I am under 200 pounds, but I don't do anything that would fulfill on that commitment, I am NOT committed to losing weight. There is something else I'm committed to that gets in the way. As long as something is in the way that has me stopped, no possibility exists.

Possibility is an empty field, commitment is the desire to harvest. Integrity is the hard work of plowing, planting, weeding, watering, feeding and caring for the plants through harvest.

Possibility and commitment exists ONLY in the realm of language. And if the language is not a irresistible call to action, it is merely an interesting -- and probably frustrating -- intellectual exercise.

Further, if one's commitment is not an irresistible call to action, it's not really a commitment. It is probably just a "good idea" or a "means to an end" or a "duty" or "obligation."

There is no point in clearing a field (possibility) and committing to a crop (commitment) if one is not inspired sufficiently to plant the damn seeds.

I've given up a lot of my commitments lately because I noticed that the direct outcome of action around that commitment isn't what I'm after. Shedding the musts and shoulds has left me in an interesting place. A place I've been before and lost.

I've only one real commitment in my life. It keeps getting buried or pushed aside. It's at the surface again. And I'm going to build some support for it such that it will be much more difficult to knock it off my mountain.

Love. Pure. Simple. Freely given. I'm stripping it of the baggage I keep heaping on it. I do not need to save anyone. I do not need to rescue anyone. I do not need to even like anyone. It really is "just the way they are and just the way they are not."

It is only thinking that something is wrong with the way they are or are not that creates in me a sense of being their savior.

I listened to a show about Christianity, Islam and Judaism this morning. Three liberal scholars talking about reconciliation of the three major monotheistic religions. I listened for 45 minutes and gave up. All three talked a good game about plurality. All three wanted to come together to share their traditions. And all three said everyone was welcome in their house of worship.

And all three just assumed that everyone believes in their god. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I've been making people wrong like crazy for not seeing the true way to enlightenment. Okay, it isn't that straightforward. But it is just as egotistical and just as righteous.

Bah.

Life is too damn short for righteousness. It is too damn short for morality wars. It is just too damn short.