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Usually, people think of "conversations" as "The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings; talk" (from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition)
What if, though, we removed the "spoken" aspects? What about the unspoken exchange of thoughts, opinions and feelings? This can be through body language and gestures we aren't even consciously aware of.
As primates, I think we are attuned to unspoken communications. In fact, I will be so bold as to say that as a species, we pay a lot more attention to the unspoken than we do to the spoken. How else would "do as I say, not as I do" ever enter into mainstream cliche? :)
If that idea has legs, then our attitudes about individuals we know or are exposed to is based mostly on what is unspoken and, maybe, reinforced by what we hear in rumor and gossip and, finally, what comes out of those individuals' mouths directly.
To accept that as the way of things in general -- even if some people have learned to communicate differently -- then what we think and say is more difficult to communicate than we are usually willing to admit.
We can become frustrated or, even, angry at the density of those we are trying to enlighten with our wisdom. :)
What is more likely, is that, rather than dense, other's are just trying to wade through a sea of mixed messages looking for the bits and pieces that fit their notions of truth. So there we are speaking some sloppy version of our truth into the ears of someone listening for their truth.
I'm surprised we "communicate" at all. :)
I can certainly see that my "style" is going to miss the mark FAR more often than it hits and that I will only really be heard and understood in two contexts. Neither of which I spend a great deal of time in. My conversations outside that context rarely go the way I expect. And the frustration that I experience because of that further undermines my attempt to communicate.
I have to learn some NEW ways to express. I've fallen into some old, ineffective ruts. :) But they FEEL so comfortable! Surely the communications problem rests solely with the listener, right? {giggle}
What if, though, we removed the "spoken" aspects? What about the unspoken exchange of thoughts, opinions and feelings? This can be through body language and gestures we aren't even consciously aware of.
As primates, I think we are attuned to unspoken communications. In fact, I will be so bold as to say that as a species, we pay a lot more attention to the unspoken than we do to the spoken. How else would "do as I say, not as I do" ever enter into mainstream cliche? :)
If that idea has legs, then our attitudes about individuals we know or are exposed to is based mostly on what is unspoken and, maybe, reinforced by what we hear in rumor and gossip and, finally, what comes out of those individuals' mouths directly.
To accept that as the way of things in general -- even if some people have learned to communicate differently -- then what we think and say is more difficult to communicate than we are usually willing to admit.
We can become frustrated or, even, angry at the density of those we are trying to enlighten with our wisdom. :)
What is more likely, is that, rather than dense, other's are just trying to wade through a sea of mixed messages looking for the bits and pieces that fit their notions of truth. So there we are speaking some sloppy version of our truth into the ears of someone listening for their truth.
I'm surprised we "communicate" at all. :)
I can certainly see that my "style" is going to miss the mark FAR more often than it hits and that I will only really be heard and understood in two contexts. Neither of which I spend a great deal of time in. My conversations outside that context rarely go the way I expect. And the frustration that I experience because of that further undermines my attempt to communicate.
I have to learn some NEW ways to express. I've fallen into some old, ineffective ruts. :) But they FEEL so comfortable! Surely the communications problem rests solely with the listener, right? {giggle}