The problem with right

I've been right most of my life. Even when I was oh so very wrong. I've even been right when I didn't have the foggiest notion of the subject I was being right about. In fact, I used to knowingly make crap up to prove my position.

Those of us who have known people who do that understand just how annoying that is. Those of us who have done it know just how fragile we feel.

Sometimes I still need to be right. I just know it isn't going to end well so I get off it pretty quickly.

Right now, I want to be right. I mean I really want to be righteously super right.

I'm just trying to avoid being responsible for a past decision that is now inconvenient. If everyone sees just how right I am, the responsibility for the consequences will be magically lifted. It's part of a belief I entertained in my childhood that the world owed me wealth, comfort and fame. :)

The desire to be right, though, has no leverage or traction in this case. It's not even a matter of who is or who isn't right. There really is no decision to be made. And nobody is going to come to the rescue. Actually, no one needs rescuing anyway.

What there is, though, is an unpleasant mess to deal with. An uncomfortable spot to stand in longer than I seem to be willing at the moment.

And it sucks.

Doesn't matter. The circumstances of life are what they are. Who we are is defined by who we are being in the face of them.

Depending on the version of the Christian bible one reads, Genesis begins with "In the beginning there was the word." It is apt to my philosophy. Who I create myself to be in the world first begins with a declaration. Each moment I am created from nothing by the power of my word.

There is no need to be right for there is nothing to be right about. There is only this moment. The only moment in time I can alter is this one. Who am I right now that gives me the future I want? Who am I in the face of circumstance that gives me joy and fulfillment for the rest of my days? Now that's a question worth grappling with.

I know, though, that I can't even consider that question when I am being right.

Stan Dale, founder of the Human Awareness Institute, is fond of saying, "Do you want to be right or do you want love?"

I know my answer to that question.

Love.

Errands

I'm gong to find the following things today.

A fake bouquet for wedding scene.
A Riff vest and maybe tails. I'll settle for the vest, though.

Disneyland

I've been saying "I am going to make a weekday trip to Disneyland" since I bought my Bad Ass Pass. I haven't made that trip. Very soon now, schools will be out and Disneyland will be crowded on weekdays as well as weekends.

Therefore, tomorrow is a Disneyland day. Tower of Terror (a couple of times) and California Screaming (three times).

Not a long trip, though, because I have stuff to do in the evening. Life is full.

Being in love

In the Human Awareness Institute, we talk about being in love a lot. Not necessarily the kind of being in love that is directed toward a particular individual. Or about the feeling that one wants to romantically couple up.

No. Its about the feeling that all is right with the world. It's an internal peace that includes the feeling that we can deal with what ever life brings and still be happy and fulfilled. The kind of "in love" that has every thing around us seem shiny and new.

Yep. It's a great feeling. I'm feeling it right now.

I remember a time

when living was too much work for too little gain. I think I'll never feel that hopeless again. I can see, though, how I created it. Oh, yes. There were circumstances. Lots of people contributed bucket loads of shit to my life on a daily basis.

But I'm the one who decided the relative value of each bit. I'm the one who made the decision -- twice -- to kill myself rather than struggle for nothing. And years after those attempts, I thought about it again.

For me, it was always that the future was bleak at best. Everything was only going to get worse and there was no way out of the quicksand.

The future, though, is just a damn dream of what might be if the next second actually arrives. I can make that be anything I want.

I've noticed that every time I get myself into a funk, I'm whining and crying about what is and shouldn't be that way or what the future will deprive me of. And I can really see how I've ridden that train straight to hell on several occasions.

It's just not how I live anymore.

All that said, I have a great deal of compassion for people around me who are suffering in their lives even to the point where they are convinced that suicide is the only answer to end the suffering. Yes. A lot of compassion.

But I have no sympathy. Suffering is an abdication of personal responsibility. Yes. Things happen that hurt. Our friends and family die or leave us or get very ill. Yes, we have our ups and downs. Yes. life is not always rosy. We get hurt.

But unilaterally giving up in a fit of personal defeat is messy and inconsiderate at best.

I am not feeling very charitable at the moment.

Life is intrinsically meaningless. I am not going to spend much time or energy helping those who clearly don't want it.

That doesn't sound very much like the political left, does it! Well, in today's political climate, I'm not on that scale at all.

Life is for those who choose to live it.

Duh

YOU ARE A ROCKY GOD! You know this movie, you could
dress up as Frankie, and pull it off in style!
You can recite the whole damn movie and sing
every friggin song! YOU KICK ASS!!


Whats your Rocky Horror IQ?
brought to you by Quizilla