Pesence of Mind

In all the levels of Human Awareness Institute workshops, there are common themes and questions. One of the questions oft repeated is "What is true for you in this moment?"

I resisted that question for several years. I have a background in science and technology. I worked hard to "think like a scientist." What is true in this moment is true in the next and was true in the last moment. It was true a thousand years ago and it will be true a thousand years from now.

I resisted that question so strongly that I stopped hearing it when I was a participant all those years ago. As someone who staffs HAI workshops, I heard the question again. And again. And again.

I have, in the interim from first participation to now, allowed myself to be free of my "truth" point of view from time to time. I can now hear that question in a different context.

In order to know what is true for me, I must actually experience the moment at hand. I must have presence of mind. But, more importantly, I must feel what there is to feel in this moment. And there was my resistance.

I say "was my resistance" as if I have banished that banshee. The desire to avoid feeling is strong. I usually have a moments struggle every time there is some strong feeling coming up.

I've notice lately that I am trying like crazy to suppress some feelings. I was not being present. In fact, I was experiencing major distractions and expressing grievous irritation and dissatisfaction.

What is true for me in this moment? Love. And choice.

I wrote a personal slogan nearly a year ago that escaped my memory nearly a year ago. I'm glad I wrote it down. I found that slogan last night. I was reminded. I got my compass balanced and aligned. What is important to me and what is not.

Last night I again found the way to drop the resistance and to be present in the words I wrote a year ago: Creating love, peace and joy in every conversation. What isn't serving that, isn't serving me.

And what there is to feel in this moment, I am feeling. It is that sense of calm and pride that comes from doing what one knows is right. It is the sense of being whole that people experience when what they are doing in the world lines what with what they say they are doing in the world.

I am feeling love. I can feel the presence of generosity and willingness. I am being bathed in the warmth of wellbeing. And I feel powerful and energetic. I can clearly see that what I am committed to in my life and the lives of all people is attainable. The end of cynicism. The end of taking it personally.

What is so? Okay world. Bring it on!