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I love the model Landmark uses to describe a basic model human being. It is simple, clean and adequate for mentally healthy people to use as a tool for moving beyond the fears that keep the lid on their full self-expression. We all have lids, by the way.
However, having that tool means it is very hard to fool myself. I know when I have a persistent complaint and I know what the payoffs and costs are. Here are a few of them. These are the one's I declare are through and shan't be uttered by me again.
(As I reached this point, I, of course, could not think of a single complaint! I bet those who know me could fill in the spaces below.)
1. Why can't we get people in cast to take on "Tranny" every week? For a payoff, I get to be right while making everyone else wrong and I get to validate myself while invalidating others. It is costing me affinity. It hid my fears about taking on bigger parts. I would still like 4 trannies at each show, but I am not attached to it anymore.
2. I'm sick and tired of the breakdowns in the Landmark Center. Somebody should do something about that. Payoff, I get to righteous. I also get to avoid domination by the Center staff and senior leaders. It costs me my full self-expression around the Center! It's hiding my concern that I'm really a transformation fraud. (How's that for a major pretense!)
3. I'll go back to promoting and staffing with HAI when a new venue is found for southern California. (I just noticed how loud this one (and its variants) has become lately.) I get to justify my inactivity. It is costing me love, big time. It hides my unhappiness and anger about my sexuality.
4. I'm sick of my flaky friends making promises they don't keep. Payoff, I get to be right and I get to justify my own failure to keep my word. I get to avoid my worst fears. It is costing me full self-expression and affinity. It is hiding my fear of failure.
That's enough for now.
Here's what's on my plate to transform these issues:
1. Enrollment. I'll return to conversations with cast members that move, touch and inspire me and them to up the anti on our shows. And I'll make some direct requests of new members while offering to support them as needed.
2. I'll just get off it. I will continue to provide excellence in those areas I've taken on agreements and I will speak possibility while at the center and in my life. If life is a conversation and nothing is wrong, what's possible?
3. I'll add HAI to my plate again. I love leading HAI intros. Even though I worry that I don't know how to promote them and will fail at it, I know better. (This is part of my concerns about producing my own seminars and workshops, too.) Time to get into action! The only thing that is every missing is possibility.
4. I will be responsible for the promises I make. I will also have promises made to me be more specific. And I will have followup conversations to support mutual integrity. That's the way of workability.
Feel free to point out when I'm trotting out one of those complaints. I may not notice at the time. :)
And, in case you were wondering, I love you. Yes, I do. I love my family, my cast, my Landmark community, HAI community and the world at large. I do so just because I can and because it empowers me. So there!
However, having that tool means it is very hard to fool myself. I know when I have a persistent complaint and I know what the payoffs and costs are. Here are a few of them. These are the one's I declare are through and shan't be uttered by me again.
(As I reached this point, I, of course, could not think of a single complaint! I bet those who know me could fill in the spaces below.)
1. Why can't we get people in cast to take on "Tranny" every week? For a payoff, I get to be right while making everyone else wrong and I get to validate myself while invalidating others. It is costing me affinity. It hid my fears about taking on bigger parts. I would still like 4 trannies at each show, but I am not attached to it anymore.
2. I'm sick and tired of the breakdowns in the Landmark Center. Somebody should do something about that. Payoff, I get to righteous. I also get to avoid domination by the Center staff and senior leaders. It costs me my full self-expression around the Center! It's hiding my concern that I'm really a transformation fraud. (How's that for a major pretense!)
3. I'll go back to promoting and staffing with HAI when a new venue is found for southern California. (I just noticed how loud this one (and its variants) has become lately.) I get to justify my inactivity. It is costing me love, big time. It hides my unhappiness and anger about my sexuality.
4. I'm sick of my flaky friends making promises they don't keep. Payoff, I get to be right and I get to justify my own failure to keep my word. I get to avoid my worst fears. It is costing me full self-expression and affinity. It is hiding my fear of failure.
That's enough for now.
Here's what's on my plate to transform these issues:
1. Enrollment. I'll return to conversations with cast members that move, touch and inspire me and them to up the anti on our shows. And I'll make some direct requests of new members while offering to support them as needed.
2. I'll just get off it. I will continue to provide excellence in those areas I've taken on agreements and I will speak possibility while at the center and in my life. If life is a conversation and nothing is wrong, what's possible?
3. I'll add HAI to my plate again. I love leading HAI intros. Even though I worry that I don't know how to promote them and will fail at it, I know better. (This is part of my concerns about producing my own seminars and workshops, too.) Time to get into action! The only thing that is every missing is possibility.
4. I will be responsible for the promises I make. I will also have promises made to me be more specific. And I will have followup conversations to support mutual integrity. That's the way of workability.
Feel free to point out when I'm trotting out one of those complaints. I may not notice at the time. :)
And, in case you were wondering, I love you. Yes, I do. I love my family, my cast, my Landmark community, HAI community and the world at large. I do so just because I can and because it empowers me. So there!