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This is just a diatribe. Feel free to skip it. This morning is one of those moods.
I have a particular young (mid-teen) friend whom I adore. She is bright, funny, talented, pretty, intense, and self-aware. All in all, an awesome young woman.
She has a mother whose every action, request and demand in relation to my friend screams out with love and parental worry. Mom is trying to do "what is best" for my friend. Doing what is necessary for my friend to have a happy, successful life.
Mom's not tuned into what has my friend be happy or, ultimately, successful.
I remember being exactly that same way with my daughter. Perhaps most parents are that way.
As a group, parents are too close to see that teens are capable of making decisions that affect the rest of their lives. In fact, they make those kinds of decisions nearly everyday. Parents have long memories about their children and short memories about themselves.
Here is an example of "doing what's right" for our kids. Several studies have been done about why people join churches. Very high on the list (usually ranks first or second) is their children to be brought up in the religion. Often the parents aren't religious. It's a "supposed to" thing.
Not only can't parents protect their children from mistakes in judgment, they shouldn't even try. At least, they shouldn't keep trying by preventing their young from making important decisions.
Critical thinking skills taught from 12, though can prepare mid- to late-teens to make decisions that are right for them by their own measure. Decisions they will more readily accept the results and consequences of whether results go well or badly.
I hope I'm done with this mood now. I am definitely stuck in "something is wrong here" and I am not very pleased about it. (See, another "something is wrong here" thought. :)
I have a particular young (mid-teen) friend whom I adore. She is bright, funny, talented, pretty, intense, and self-aware. All in all, an awesome young woman.
She has a mother whose every action, request and demand in relation to my friend screams out with love and parental worry. Mom is trying to do "what is best" for my friend. Doing what is necessary for my friend to have a happy, successful life.
Mom's not tuned into what has my friend be happy or, ultimately, successful.
I remember being exactly that same way with my daughter. Perhaps most parents are that way.
As a group, parents are too close to see that teens are capable of making decisions that affect the rest of their lives. In fact, they make those kinds of decisions nearly everyday. Parents have long memories about their children and short memories about themselves.
Here is an example of "doing what's right" for our kids. Several studies have been done about why people join churches. Very high on the list (usually ranks first or second) is their children to be brought up in the religion. Often the parents aren't religious. It's a "supposed to" thing.
Not only can't parents protect their children from mistakes in judgment, they shouldn't even try. At least, they shouldn't keep trying by preventing their young from making important decisions.
Critical thinking skills taught from 12, though can prepare mid- to late-teens to make decisions that are right for them by their own measure. Decisions they will more readily accept the results and consequences of whether results go well or badly.
I hope I'm done with this mood now. I am definitely stuck in "something is wrong here" and I am not very pleased about it. (See, another "something is wrong here" thought. :)