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That didn't last long.
One of my favorite characters from a movie musical if Fagan in Oliver. He has a wonderful song titled "I'm reviewing the situation." Rather than actually do any work this afternoon, I've been reviewing the situation.
I'm a bit slow sometimes taking my own advice. Here's the deal.
Someone told me something today about how they feel.
I reacted. Did I remember Quit Taking it Personally (QTIP)? No.
I'm no secrets boy. That's just how it is. Everyone who reads my journal has to decide if they wish to read it or not. Everyone who reads my journal will have to decide to take or not take anything I write here as something about them.
Yes. It will cause some friction in my life to continue to post the inside of my head. Yes, I will be misunderstood. Yes, people will take what I say personally from time to time. Yes, some people will get upset.
I have a much better chance of being understood by continuing to speak (or write) than by keeping my mouth shut.
I really can stand in the face of my circumstances. Life might never turn out the way I would like, but that, of course, is not the point of living. In the end life turns out to be over. Period.
I am truly sorry if something I say offends you, makes you uncomfortable, brings up bad memories or angers you. But as sorry as I am that your are visited by your daemons, I would regret any attempt on my part to protect you from them. It's a losing game.
I do not write in my journal to sway opinion or to make indirect requests. I write in my journal to get what is in my head down in some sort of order so that it doesn't stay in my head.
It is an exercising in clearing myself. Maybe you didn't agree to assist in my clearing, but reading my journal is not a requirement.
Three hours of private and I can tell, it just isn't going to work. Better no journal than a private one. My mind is a bad neighborhood, I try to not go there alone.
And I love you. Love. Not an emotion that makes demands or even requests. It is not necessary for you to love me back. It is not necessary for you to earn it. It is not necessary for you to be a good person. You get my love because of who I am and not because of who you are. I am not really very interested in whether or not you think you deserve it. I am not really interested in your opinion about whether or not I should love everyone. I am not all that interested in how you think I should express it
I'll take it under advisement if you suggest ways for me to love you. But I love because I love. Even that has nothing to do with you. Really.
Does that should heartless? I've been in that question before. I will be again. I don't believe it is. Until we create some sort of personal relationship, you get no say in how I'm being about you.
Now. Maybe I can actually get some damn work done. This major distraction has been brought to you by a major flaring up of identity. We now return you to your regular possibility.
I am the possibility of love and compassion; the creation of peace, love and joy in every conversation.
One of my favorite characters from a movie musical if Fagan in Oliver. He has a wonderful song titled "I'm reviewing the situation." Rather than actually do any work this afternoon, I've been reviewing the situation.
I'm a bit slow sometimes taking my own advice. Here's the deal.
Someone told me something today about how they feel.
I reacted. Did I remember Quit Taking it Personally (QTIP)? No.
I'm no secrets boy. That's just how it is. Everyone who reads my journal has to decide if they wish to read it or not. Everyone who reads my journal will have to decide to take or not take anything I write here as something about them.
Yes. It will cause some friction in my life to continue to post the inside of my head. Yes, I will be misunderstood. Yes, people will take what I say personally from time to time. Yes, some people will get upset.
I have a much better chance of being understood by continuing to speak (or write) than by keeping my mouth shut.
I really can stand in the face of my circumstances. Life might never turn out the way I would like, but that, of course, is not the point of living. In the end life turns out to be over. Period.
I am truly sorry if something I say offends you, makes you uncomfortable, brings up bad memories or angers you. But as sorry as I am that your are visited by your daemons, I would regret any attempt on my part to protect you from them. It's a losing game.
I do not write in my journal to sway opinion or to make indirect requests. I write in my journal to get what is in my head down in some sort of order so that it doesn't stay in my head.
It is an exercising in clearing myself. Maybe you didn't agree to assist in my clearing, but reading my journal is not a requirement.
Three hours of private and I can tell, it just isn't going to work. Better no journal than a private one. My mind is a bad neighborhood, I try to not go there alone.
And I love you. Love. Not an emotion that makes demands or even requests. It is not necessary for you to love me back. It is not necessary for you to earn it. It is not necessary for you to be a good person. You get my love because of who I am and not because of who you are. I am not really very interested in whether or not you think you deserve it. I am not really interested in your opinion about whether or not I should love everyone. I am not all that interested in how you think I should express it
I'll take it under advisement if you suggest ways for me to love you. But I love because I love. Even that has nothing to do with you. Really.
Does that should heartless? I've been in that question before. I will be again. I don't believe it is. Until we create some sort of personal relationship, you get no say in how I'm being about you.
Now. Maybe I can actually get some damn work done. This major distraction has been brought to you by a major flaring up of identity. We now return you to your regular possibility.
I am the possibility of love and compassion; the creation of peace, love and joy in every conversation.